Uncharted.

Welcome to the new year Ceremony readers. It's January first twenty twenty one and I mean this with unbridled encouragement; nothing changes if nothing changes. I had the resolution talk with my friends at 10:30 last night, prior to our pre-midnight nap. I like to think everyone needs a nap on NYE before the strange acknowledgement of the 10 seconds before tomorrow...but I think that would be wildly un true and perhaps more an indication of the type of person I am; sleepy. I like being comfortable. My routine, my job, my cafes, my clothes, my bed. I like it when it gets to 9pm, after my shower, skin care routine (which closely resembles some sort of 10 course degustation where each course has its perfect place in the meal ritual) and folding back my linen bedding. Then, I watch the same video every night. It's a video of this British woman doing a full eyebrow service on someone, but I'm telling you her voice and the ceremony of it puts me in a relaxation trance. I could probably recite it, and if they ever ran the stats on it I would unequivocally be the highest viewer. Being comfortable has worked for me for a long time. The anxiety of being approved of by everyone creeps into my daily life in ways I still don't think I realise. My leg taps like a wind up toy that you race down the table at Christmas. I get sweaty anytime someone says 'let's have a chat' and my ability to pretend what I want to do/see/eat is exactly what the person I'm with wants is down to a fine art. One time a close relative texted me out of the blue and I ended up going to emergency and then yawning every few minutes for two weeks. So, being comfortable works for me. It's predictable, it's reassuring, it gives me confidence and makes me feel like I'm performing a very smooth puppet show a la The Sound of Music. But comfortable doesn't get you very far. I know I often write about not wanting a big extravagant life- but that doesn't mean that sitting here watching Seinfeld (again) is going to be enough for me forever. This year I'm actively participating in my own life. I don't know what that means yet, or what it looks like in a tangible, practical way but I do know that it's uncharted waters after 2 years of plodding along in a curated routine. I just read a TED article on Facebook about how changing behaviours isn't about how much we know the change will positively impact our lives, or because we have deep, passionate commitment to the outcome but about how we're unwilling to be 'bad' at things. I think in this context though, I care less about being bad at something and more about feeling even the slightest amount of discomfort. I'm going to find an office space to work out of a few days a week despite hating waking up early and conversing with strangers. I'm going to watch films I haven't already seen and not google the ending so I can relax and enjoy it. I might let my housemate convince me to try some foods I've been adamantly against and potentially will study something I don't already feel like I have a comprehensive understanding of. The point is, each year is 365 days of the complete unknown and you can either let those days happen to you, or they can happen because of you. Actively participate in your life this year; even if that is sleeping 10 hours a night. With the amount of sleep talking I do, I think that would count as being pretty active. Show up for yourself. M x

Daily Ceremony acknowledges Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the traditional custodians of the land we work on, and we pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging.